What to do when a freelance deal dies on contract (real-life example)

Normally, I like to share frameworks or thought models. In this article, I want to run through a raw, tangible example of rejection.

Because, dear freelancer, it happens. To ALL of us. Yours truly absolutely included. 

When I started teaching the business of freelancing in 2019, one thing that came up time and again was how to handle rejection. There’s so much wrong out there, in my opinion, about how we not only think about rejection in general but how we should approach it as entrepreneurs. 

Here are my two cents. 

First, flip the script on rejection

A lot of rejection focuses on the emotional side of it–and how it can decimate our sense of self. 

I think this is the wrong approach for freelancers.

When you think about rejection from the emotional side of things, you bring in the “human” side of your three identities (a CEO, an individual contributor, and a human person). But what you need to do, in my view, is bring out the CEO side.

Instead of anchoring in the human side, worrying about emotions which the CEO version of you is ill-equipped to support, I recommend flipping the script: it’s not an emotional problem with an administrative solution, it’s an administrative problem with an emotional support mechanism. 

The way most psychologists talk about it: Emotional trigger → de-escalate by thinking rationally. 

How freelance entrepreneurs need to think about it: Administrative nuisance → emotionally support yourself through finding the right solution. 

So a client deal died on contract, now what?

Here’s a real message a freelancer coaching client of mine sent—with my response below. Both have been edited for anonymization and clarity, just fyi. 

The message I received: rejection at the last second

I had a great exploratory call with a potential last week and everything was running smoothly. 

She was down for my pricing, the scope, and it seemed like she was totally ready to pull the trigger. 

But when she saw my service contract, she had a ton of questions and it seemed to stall everything. 

She sent me an email this morning saying that she doesn’t want to move forward right now, and wished me well. 

I can’t think of why she would have turned around, other than the contract length and complexity overwhelming her? 

My response: admin with a dose of emotion

Hey! This sucks - I'm sorry you're going through it. I'll say a couple of things:

This happens (rarely, but it does). Sometimes deals fall apart on contract.

A LOT of the time, falling apart on contract meant someone realized something embarrassing about themselves–like they don't have the budget after all–and questioning the contract is a stalling technique to give them some power back. 

See it for what it is.. this person deserves pity (or empathy if you have that energy).

Alternatively, she had specific problems with the terms she asked questions about. 

You can take this as data: think about those terms she questioned. 

If they are reasonable and/or necessary, then you can disregard them and move on. If you re-read them and think “hmm maybe I missed something,” you are able to change it for the future. 

And something to think about: when someone nitpicks that much on your contract, do you really think they will be any better to work with? You might have dodged a bullet you didn’t even know was coming toward you. 

I would end by saying this: keep going. This is setback, not a conclusion.