How to respond to angry freelance clients regardless of the reason they are mad [template]
Look, clients are going to be mad sometimes. It’s not necessarily your fault either and that’s what really sucks. But you still need to figure it out.
As freelancers, we’re always in some form of client management mode. Over the years, I’ve developed a framework for responding to angry clients that is:
Empathetic
Effective
Non-fault producing
I’ve even had clients apologize to me for their outbursts. Not my goal, but I can’t lie when I say it felt good to read those emails.
The basic sequence is to move from acknowledgement to action.
(I should note quickly: this is for honest anger, not red-flag anger)
Acknowledgment to action
Anger festers when it has nowhere to go. When faced with anger, there are more or less three ways to deal with it.
1. You can refuse to deal with it and shove the emotion back to the person. This usually multiplies the anger felt by the individual. Not a win.
2. You can absorb all the emotion and take it on yourself. This is plain unfair to you. Absorbing the emotion and taking it on yourself will not only put you in a nasty mood but it could also be tantamount to accepting full fault for the problem. When that happens, clients will, and should, expect a lot of restitution. Often this restitution is well beyond what is fair. And you are almost forced to do this because if you stop after this point, all you did was delay shoving the emotion back to them. Also not a win.
3. You can acknowledge the emotion and then take action to remove the root cause. Everyone can be hot-tempered every now and again, even nice people. So when someone expresses emotion absorb it and throw it away by acknowledging the pain they are in then move to action to solve the root cause of the emotion. Here’s your win.
The communication template you can use right now
Whether written or in person, use this template to plan your responses to angry clients to turn them into mollified customers—with the opportunity to delight them.
Framework:
Acknowledge the reach out
Acknowledge the reason for the reach out
Give a next step for them to take
Offer a personal finish
Let’s say you get an email something along the lines of this.
Subject: We need to talk/unhappy feedback
Message: I need to be honest with you–what you’ve sent me is subpar at best. I won’t be paying for it unless you figure it out ASAP.
Client
How would you respond? I know when I got an email like this I wanted to tell my client exactly where they could stick the money they threatened to not pay me. But, alas, I couldn’t do that. And neither can you.
Instead, I used the framework I shared above.
My response was this.
Subject: re: We need to talk/unhappy feedback
Message:
Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out—I’m sorry for any frustration here.
I’m happy to chat through your feedback on a call or via email if that’s easier to start.
Here’s my calendly to book a call: {LINK}
Based on your comments, the initial goal of the project was XYZ. If that’s changed–or if I misunderstood something–I’m happy to make adjustments or make things right.
Looking forward to chatting,
Stefan
A few points:
I thanked them for reaching out. Even if they wrote some nasty angry message, they took time to write it. It cost me nothing to thank them for reaching out.
I acknowledged that there was likely frustration due to the emotion but I didn’t assume their emotions nor did I acknowledge the emotion they threw at me in the first email
I offered two escalation pathways (call or email), so they don’t feel like I gave them a short answer to get them out of my queue
I made it clear that they had to take action to solve their own problem by not offering an “I’ll solve this problem for you all by myself” response—they had to be part of the solution since chances are they were part of the problem
Remember we’re all human
There have been days when the tweets, emails, and other reach outs really got to me. Those days suck. But remember we’re all human. Just as there are times when you may lose your temper, your customers might as well.
Remind yourself that it’s not about you–it’s always about how they are feeling due to misaligned expectations. Sometimes the misalignment is your fault, other times it’s theirs, and occasionally it’s both of yours.
Regardless, respond to their emotion with care for achieving the goal outcomes and you’ll find angry clients can turn into the best champions. Throw emotions back at them and you’ll spend your time wondering why you keep getting trolls and can’t seem to get clients through referrals anymore.
